We heard two gongs and went off for the mess hall. Mr. Farraday said he was going to teach us several different methods of starting a fire and we all trooped back out again. He sent us scattering all over the place to find dry twigs and bigger pieces of wood, and had us pile it all up above the path where the land is kind of flat and there aren’t as many trees around.
Kerry said he knew a better way than Mr. Farraday’s, and Mr. Farraday said Kerry didn’t even know what way he was going to teach us.
“It doesn’t matter anyway”, Kerry said, stubborn like he always is.
“Well then, Kerry”, Mr. Farraday said, standing there looking down at Kerry hunkered down on his haunches, squatting like an miserable toad, “what method do you intend to employ?”
“I ain’t hiring no one to do my work”, Kerry said, and we all laughed. That cheered Kerry up, and one of his typical smirks wiped the angry look off his face.
“What I mean, Kerry”, Mr. Farraday said, standing there, with his fists on his hips, getting a kind of nasty edge to his voice (I don’t blame him, Kerry can try anyone’s patience) “is how do you intend to start your fire?”
“Oh, simple”, Kerry said, and stood up and reached into his back pocket to get out a magnifying glass.
“I see”, Mr. Farraday said. But I didn’t, because even I know you need a source of heat.
“Sure”, Kerry said, pushing out his chest. “I know how to take care of myself! I know what to do if I’m ever lost in the woods. What you do, is you get this-here magnifying glass and put it over a leaf or something and let the sun shine through it and whango! You get a fire!"
“Great, great Kerry. I can see you really know your stuff. I take it you’re going to demonstrate your fire-making prowess for us now?”
“Yeah, sure. Just watch me.”
“I hate to curtail your enthusiasm, my boy”, Mr. Farraday said kind of sarcastically. “but there happens to be a dearth of sun at the present time.”
“Huh?”
“The sun, Kerry. It’s going down. There does not happen to be sufficient radiation from that glowing orb to do you much good at the moment. If you do indeed intend to teach us how to light a fire by your method, I’m afraid we’ll be a long time waiting. Like until tomorrow afternoon?”
“Oh yeah. Yeah, that. Well, that’s okay. Tomorrow I’ll show you how to light a fire with the magnifying glass.”
“That’s just fine, Kerry. Now, will you be quiet and listen and watch my method?”
“No, Sir.”
“I BEG YOUR PARDON!” Poor Mr. Farraday was getting kind of red in the face. He looked like he was on fire. Mr. Henderson was standing nearby and it looked to me like he was having a bit of trouble with his face, it kept trying to break out in a broad grin or something. But he stood in the background and didn’t interfere. Maybe he was feeling good that it wasn’t him, for a change, that had to put up with Kerry.
“You’re excused”, Kerry said, like very innocently, but I know and most of us know he’s a lot smarter than some people think. “But I know there’s more than one way to light and fire, and I’m prepared to demonstrate my fool-proof other way.“
Half the kids were rolling on the ground laughing their fool heads off, yours truly excepted. I was too interested in hearing all of what was going on, and I just kind of kept my hands over my mouth and tried to look halfway intelligent. Hard work.
When Mr. Farraday noticed finally what a good time we were all having, he kind of gave a funny grin, and then he seemed to relax a little. He turned to Mr. Henderson, shook his shoulders like as if to say what’s the point?, then he turned back to Kerry.
“Okay Kerry, let’s hear your other method.”
“Yes Sir! What I’m going to do, Sir, Mr. Farraday, is get two pieces of wood see, and I’m going to rub them together and in no time at all, I’ll have a good fire going. Nothing to it, actually.”
“I see, you’re going to use friction to make a fire, eh Kerry?”
“That’s right, Sir. After all, we’re supposed to be learning something here, like roughing it in the woods. I see you’ve got matches, but Sir, what about when guys get lost in the woods with no matches?”
“Hmmm yes. I certainly see your point. Well Kerry, how would it do if you just went ahead and did your thing, and I’ll demonstrate to the rest of the boys and girls my method?”
“Oh sure, you just go right ahead. I’ll let you know when my fire’s started.”
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