At school one morning, before Mr. Henderson got in to home room, Pearl told everyone who was sitting around, to kindly shut up. She had something to say. Turned out her and her group of snotty, stuck-ups decided they’d like to get something for Mr. Henderson as a gift from us. So he wouldn’t forget us. Personally, I think he’d just as soon forget us all. Especially me. As soon as we graduate. If not sooner.
Anyway, what they thought was, they thought they’d collect two dollars - cripes! TWO DOLLARS! - from each of us eager-beavers. They think I’m made of money or something? They planned, they said, to get him a real nice present from all of us.
“What’re you thinking of getting him?” I asked, getting real brave. “A gold-plated spittoon?”
“Very funny, Miss Feldpoop” Pearl said nastily. And of course everyone laughed. They think it’s good fun to play around with my name. I’m quite above mangling someone’s name up like that, of course. And I just ignore them. “Actually, we’ve already come to a consensus conclusion about what we’ll get him.”
“Consensus? Hey, that means that everyone agrees. We never even heard about your plans before. You didn’t ask us. Here you are, just telling us! What if some of us don’t think it’s such a hot idea, eh?”
“How about just shutting up for a minute, Miss Blabbermouth. I’m trying to tell everyone something before Mr. Henderson gets in. When you hear it all maybe then we’ll let you have your say. Meanwhile, kindly shut up.” So I did. Like what else could I do? Everyone was telling me to shut my big mouth.
“As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted”, Pearl went on, glaring at me in a very unfriendly way, “What we thought we’d do was collect two dollars from everyone. Then an appointed group - me and Nancy and Michelline actually - will go out and get a present from all of us. Actually, we kind of think we know what we’re going to get. It’s just a matter of going out and ordering it. Rosemary had the great idea of a silver-plated urn on a plaque, and we’d have it engraved ‘to Mr. Henderson, from all of us’.”
Half the kids were nodding their heads and saying ‘great’, and like that. Crap! Are they kidding? A bloody loving-cup? All of a sudden they’re in love with Mr. Henderson. Like, all year they never pay attention and he’s got one hassle after another (not that he doesn’t always deserve them), but now they’re so sad to leave they’ve got to get him a yucky cup with a message from his loving class. I’ll be darned if I’m going to have anything to do with it!
We couldn’t talk about it any more then, because Mr. Henderson came in and we started to do English, and he told us we were having another test tomorrow, better study tonight.
Oboy, already today we’ve got math and French homework, and probably he’ll give us geography homework too, before the day is out. Don’t they ever get together and talk about all the homework they’re loading us down with, and decide sometimes, to give us a break? Everyone groaned as usual, but I put my hand up.
“Mr. Henderson, we just had an English test last week. Do we really need to have another one so soon?”
“Jennifer, I do believe I’m the best judge of that, not you. Are you the self-appointed spokesman - excuse me, spokesperson - for this class? You’ve turned into the greatest complainer I can recall ever having in any of my classes!”
“Sir, I’m not complaining. I’m just trying to point out to you that we had a test last week. Like maybe you forgot or something. And anyway, we’re all loaded down with homework for tonight, and Mr. Levesque wants us to study French for a real big test on Thursday, and really, it’s just too much!”
I KNOW that most of the kids feel just like I do, but just because I’m the one who stood up to say something, no one will back me up. Well, Jennifer T and Donna and Diane maybe will, but that’s not enough, and some of the kids started pointing fingers at me and saying -whiney-Jenny’, and I’m sure I heard Sally talking to Pearl about me, saying I’m a poor sport and a whining bitch.
“At any rate Jennifer, this test is more than just a simple test. It’s to be a review of everything we’ve taken the past several months. And I fully expect all of you to be prepared.”
Oboy, things seem to be going from bad to worse, or something. This time everyone groaned, and he turned to the class and said “We’ve gone over the salient points time and again, and I’m quite confident most of you know your subject. It won’t take much time for you to review the work we’ve done. You’ll find that the anticipation of a test is invariably more difficult and intimidating than the actual test.
"None of you should have any trouble at all if you just skim over the work we’ve done, and tell yourself to relax. After all, final exams are just a few weeks away, and you might as well be prepared. Call it, if you will, a dress rehearsal.” And he chuckled at his sparkling wit. But no one else thought it was funny.
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