Disquietude

Rituals. They are not to be discounted
with casual disregard. They are
habits acquired to make us feel
comfortable about and within our
lives. They establish order. They calm
our minds. They assure us that all
is well, that we must simply follow
these traditions we have established
and contentment is ours. They are
small but vital emotional tics of
reassurance. Extending weekly
supermarket shopping to include a
basket of food for the needy requires
little thought and a modest financial
outlay and it is soothing to the
fragile conscience. But then new
habits intervene like winter feeding
of local wildlife requiring purchase
of suitable edibles. The fragility of
determination to pursue such ritual
suddenly upset when another habit
of acquiring cash on your account from
the bank seemed unnecessary and you
found yourself over-extended by so
many sale items loading your shopping
cart and something had to go since you
are averse to credit cards for groceries.
What choice to make? What to return
to the shelves? Not the bag of kibble
for the raccoons, not the bargain prices
on cheese and chicken for your meals
so the sacrifice was non-perishables for
the food bank and you sink into a funk
telling yourself this ritual can skip a 
week; no one will know but yourself.