At school on Monday, Diane and Donna were talking, all excited about what they were going to wear to Sally’s party. Sally wasn’t with us, but Laura was, and she didn’t look too happy. Funny; Sally still hasn’t come right out and asked us two Jennifers to go, and I feel kind of funny.
“Laura” I said, sitting beside her, before home room class started. “Did Sally ask you to her party? Like I mean, say she wanted you to come?”
“Yes, of course she did.” And then she seemed like she was just shutting up or something. Her mouth got thin and she didn’t say anything else, and she didn’t seem to want to look right at me.
“I guess then, she’s asked Donna and Diane too?”
“No, I don’t think so.”
“Oh, I see. She just hasn’t got around to saying anything to the rest of us, yet.”
“Maybe. I don’t know what her plans are, Jennifer.”
I looked for Sally and saw her over with the kids in the in-group and I was kind of surprised. She looked comfortable with them, like she belonged, and usually they didn’t like any of us around them, much. Laura saw me looking and she turned to me, and shrugged her shoulders. I wonder what that’s supposed to mean?
Mr. Henderson came in and we all got in our seats like we’re supposed to. There were new supplies in, and we were all supposed to get new pens and rulers and erasers. New paper supplies, too. As usual, Kerry got the job of handing out the new stuff. It kind of makes him feel Mr.Big, so Mr. Henderson thinks it’s good for him. Keeps him busy, too, and I guess he thinks he’s special to get the job and then wants to act special, because he always acts good for a while afterward. Only thing is, if he’s mad at someone he kind of forgets to give them as much paper as the other kids, or he gives them a leaky pen or a broken eraser. Sally’s always talking mean to him, so he kind of got her back this morning, and was she ever mad! Too bad.
Later, at lunch time, Mom noticed me picking at this thing I got on the middle of my hand, and she had a look. I guess she didn’t like what she saw, and neither do I now that I know what it is. She made an appointment for me to see Dr. Salivas after school, end of the week.
Tomorrow night there’s a concert put on by Larry’s early music group that plays on Saturday. Larry reminded us all at the dinner table. “That reminds me”, he said. “Brent’s parents can’t go, do you think we can pick him up and take him with us?”
“That kid never has a ride”, Daddy grumbled. “What the hell do his parents do all the time?”
“Come on Dear, it’s not so bad. We won’t have to go much out of our way to pick him up. He’s a nice boy, and we should be glad to do it.” Good old Mom.
I think I know why Dad’s not so eager to pick Brent up. Mom told him the other day that I have a crush on Brent. I was so mad I could have screamed. You should have seen the surprised look on Daddy’s face. You know, his little girl….!
“Is that true?” he asked, turning to me.
“Oh Daddy, don’t listen to Mom, she’s just kidding.”
“Am I Dear?” Mom said sweetly. Oh, sometimes she’s just miserable. “Isn’t that why you’re so eager to be around whenever Larry has him over? Is that why you always listen in on their telephone conversations, because I’m kidding? Oh yes, I know you do.”
“Well so what, so what!” I yelled, feeling like crying. It’s so unfair, it’s not anybody’s business.
“So what indeed”, Mom said. “I happen to think it’s perfectly natural, so why are you so upset?”
“I don’t know! No one would ever look at me anyhow, I’m so stupid and fat and everything!”
“Why, that’s not true at all, Jen. You’re just as pretty as any of your friends, even if I am your mother. And I told you that’s just baby fat, you’ll lose it.” And she turned to Dad who kept watching me all the time like I was a strange fish, or something he was trying to catch. “Don’t you agree, Dear?”
“Of course you’re pretty, Jen. And even I’ve noticed that you’ve lost a bit of your chubbiness. In fact, you’re beginning to look quite the young lady, so stop feeling sorry for yourself.”
“It’s her age, Dear”, Mom murmured to him softly, but I heard her. My age again, crap!
Since then, Dad’s been suspicious of Brent and whenever he’s around Dad watches to see what I’m doing. If I’m hanging around, like, or like that. What a drag!
“What do you think?” Dad asked, turning to me. “should we pick beautiful Brent up and take him with us?” Lanky Larry was howling, laughing his fool head off, and my baby brother wasn't behaving any more civilized, yowling right along with Big Brother.
“Do whatever you like, Father", I said, trying to sound like I really didn’t care.
“I suppose we will, particularly if there’s no other way he can there. There’s something about that boy … I don’t know, he just seems supercilious.”
“So what if he acts silly sometimes”, I said, because I think it’s unfair that Daddy has to find fault with Brent just because he’s mad at him because of me.
“Silly? Who said anything about silly?” Dad said. And I was confused. “He’s anything but silly. In fact, he’s very bright, I admit it. But there’s an air about him that turns me off.”
“Didn’t you say he was silly?” I asked Dad.
“No, Dear”, Mom said, laughing. And so was Larry, but Brian not so much; he looked as puzzled as me. I hate it when someone laughs at me when I don’t understand something. It’s just not fair, and it’s not nice, either.
“Supercilious means someone who thinks he’s rather superior.”
“Oh … I thought it meant extra-silly. You know, super-silly. Oh, I’m so stupid!” But, I thought to myself, it’s a real good word, if I could only remember it, to describe precious Larry, too.
“No, you’re not at all stupid. It’s just that sometimes we tend to use words you don’t yet know. You do have a good vocabulary, you certainly read enough to help your command of English grow. Don’t feel so self-critical.” Even though Mom said that I know she thinks I’m stupid sometimes. She doesn’t want me to get down in the dumps, that’s all.
And it’s clear to me that Larry is very concerned about me too, since he breathed “stupid!” at me, when no one was looking. Count on him.
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