When I got home from school Mom told me she’d got a telephone call from someone she’d never met but who got her name from someone they both know. This woman heard, Mom said, that Mom has a daughter her own daughter’s age, and she said she thought it might be very nice if Mom brought her daughter (that’s me), over to this woman’s house to meet her daughter (that ‘s the other woman’s daughter).
“Crap! Mom, you've got to be kidding!”
“Dear, I am not kidding, this woman called me, and for heaven’s sake, what’s so outrageous about that? And PLEASE, Jennifer, MUST you always resort to that word?”
“Word? What word?”
“Must I say it … Crap … well, that word you always use.”
“Crap? You don’t like that, either? I don’t do anything right. I don’t say anything right. You’re always after me to stop saying this or that and now you expect me to go over and meet some kid I don’t know and probably won’t like and I don’t see why I should have to.”
“You’re always saying there are so many petty intrigues among your girlfriends at school. Don’t you think it might be nice to broaden your circle of acquaintances? I spoke to the woman for a short while, and she seemed very nice. Although it did seem rather peculiar to me that she would call, I admit. After all, though, what can you lose? If you and the girl don’t care for one another you needn’t have anything further to do with one another. Come on, be adventuresome.”
“That’s not exactly the kind of adventure that appeals to me. Can’t you tell her I’m too busy? You know, answering fan-club letters, that kind of thing?”
“Verry clever!” Mom said, but it didn’t sound like a compliment at all; her voice got very sticky. I sighed and thought oh, she’s right, what can I lose, maybe I’ll go and meet someone really nice and anyway, if I don’t Mom’ll be mad at me.
“If you really want me to, okay I’ll go. But please remember I’m not awfully enthusiastic about it.”
“That’s fairly evident, Dear”, she said, and the ‘dear’ didn’t sound very dear. “At any rate, I’m rather curious myself. I’d like to see what they’re like and what the reasoning behind all of this might be, apart from a mother looking for a new friend for her child.”
Hah! I thought, she’s using me as a guinea pig! Oh, excuse me, Munchkin and Grumpkin. But then I thought, poor Mom, she’s bored, Daddy’s been away this week and won’t be back until Friday. She probably just wants to meet the woman to see if she can make a new friend herself. I thought I could make that little sacrifice for her. So, day after tomorrow I’m supposed to come right home after school to go over there with her. Yuck!
I told Jennifer about going over to meet this kid and she thinks it’s kind of funny-queer too.
“You know her name?” she asked me.
“Crap! I forgot to even ask. That shows you how interested I am, eh?”
“Oh well, give it a chance. She might be nice.”
“I can’t figure why anybody’s mother would want to call someone to have them bring over their kid to meet their kid, if you know what I mean.”
“Yeah, I don’t know either. Maybe the kid’s got bad breath or something awful like that.”
“Ha-ha. Nobody’s bad breath could be as awful as the smell of the locker room when everyone’s changing out of their boots, getting on their shoes.”
“Isn’t it the truth? Sometimes I think I’m going to barf when I go in there and smell it. The awful thing is, it hangs around for hours ‘specially after some bunch of guys have had gym.”
“MUST be the boys. Us girls don’t smell like that, huh?”
“Oh no, not much.”
“By the way”, Jen said in a funny kind of way, like she was trying to be casual, but didn’t feel that way, “have you heard Sally talking about her party lately?”
“Well sure, I have. But mostly to the other kids. I noticed that when we come around she drops the subject. I wonder why?”
“I’m not sure. It makes me sick to see Diane and Donna just lap up all the plans she throws around. What makes me really mad though, is all the hints she keeps tossing off about what she’d really like as gifts.”
“I know what you mean. How about when Donna was trying to feel her out and asked her did she like jewellery?”
“You mean when she said only GOOD jewellery, like gold and silver? Yeah. Who’s she kidding?”
“Well, it was kind of funny to see Donna’s mouth hang open, there. I thought it might be funny if Kerry came along then and let fly with one of his spit balls but wouldn’t you know it, he’s only there when you don’t want him.”
“Boy, are we ever awful!”, she said, and we both giggled like crazy.
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