Ode to the Daily News

Information, keeping up to date on
current affairs, neighbourhood news
financial and environmental statistics
international affairs and criminal activities
it's all there, in that trusted daily collection
your published news source has on offer.
It's your trusted pick for the daily weather
forecast, for employment opportunities
the stock market and winning lottery
numbers and if your brain needs some
stimulation, puzzles, or you're looking for
a laugh, comics, an all-in-one source for
lifestyle articles of the rich and the famous
film and book reviews and tried-and-true
recipes, along with the very latest gossip
from Tinseltown, not to mention the agony
columns of personal advice, the latest fashion
designs and music releases and the personal 
columns. Regular features not to be casually
overlooked; including horoscopes, and
marriage announcements and hatch and
dispatch: birth and death notices whose
regularity as a feature represents the real
business of life both joyful and solemn.
What once was called gossip now is news.
Once gladly relished, now sober reality.