Have you heard of the brilliant new show-and-tell
coming to a mission near you? We've heard that
The People's Republic has launched a new speaking
tour in a kindly effort to re-educate the ignorant who
persist in telling nasty tales of Beijing's collaborative
union with its manifold populations to bring them
into the family of harmony, all honouring Xi Jinping
as the most impressive leader on this planet, a man
whose wisdom and far-reaching plans for humanity's
evolution toward a higher plane of existence will lift
China to its deserved pedestal as Universal Global
Director in tardy recognition of its undertaking to
place a combined listening device/video surveillance
camera in every home, the better to tend to the needs
of every individual in the most humanely advanced
program the world has ever imagined. Just take care
not to offend those powers that will become overlords
for in the interim the lesson is as follows: "The Chinese
government is firmly determined to safeguard its
national sovereignty, security and development interests
and urges the relevant parties to clearly understand
the situation and redress their mistakes. They must stop
political manipulation on Xinjiang-related issues, stop
interfering in China's internal affairs in any form and
refrain from going further down the wrong path.
Otherwise, they will get their fingers burnt." DO NOT
leave the lecture crestfallen and subdued, rather consider
the lesson to have been proffered with your very best
interests in mind. For everyone's sake sincere harmony
and regret for past mistakes are much preferred to war.
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