Fundamental of Love

As formulas go, there is one

that comes straight from the

heart, without which that eternal

bond between male and female

will stretch no further than

that powerful, albeit transitory

urge to couple, then uncouple.

There is a fundamental need

to step outside the psyche, to

convince oneself of the need to

care deeply and intimately for

that other's welfare.  Not to demean

oneself by deferring authority or

condescending but by genuine grace.

To persuade oneself, not the other,

to become aware that their ease

and happiness holds a prior

rating to our own.  That emotion

we call love, and it will not defend

patronizing rancour bred of demands

but urges patience and the trials of

learning the expressions of love.

It is not that in another's

happiness we will discover our 

own, but that in a shared life,

trust that each is prepared to

surrender some portion of self for

the well-being of the other is a

given.  If generosity of spirit cannot

exist in that compact, where will it?