Table Settings

First off, we should establish that I am a total klutz. Oh, perhaps too generous, not total, just moderately. Set off by the fact that I seem, always, to be in too much of a hurry to get things done. That being said, I become, let’s say, careless. Which is why I have a well earned reputation in this family as being accident prone.

No harm done to me through this process. Rather, it is the tableware that graces our meal-time tables, the dishes, tumblers, cups, saucers that reach their too untimely end. A regular shattering of the peace is considered background music in this household. Be it in our lovely breakfast room, or our graceful living room. We live in a state of graceful loveliness, or would, were it not for my congenital laissez-faire attitude about crockery. Suffice it to say that we go through a lot of change over time in the porcelains we use at mealtimes.

Here’s the odd thing, though. My husband doesn’t mind. He readily forgives my clumsiness. Fact is, dish sets which have become chipped, and/or which no longer have their full complement of pieces are just begging to be sent on a journey out of our house.

Upon which serendipitous occasion my husband can feel conscience-free to embark upon yet another one of his delirious dish-set acquisitions. There are a number of places where he enjoys shopping for dish sets. There was a time when he used to consult with me, but my indifference to the various patterns, colours and shapes was sufficient indication to him, over the years, that he is more than capable of making selections on both our behalf.

I do make a conscious effort to be more careful. And when, for a prolonged period of time, I am able to preserve a set of dishes in fairly good condition, my husband becomes restless and eventually sneaks out on a buying expedition.

He has even been known to come home with several sets of dishes, without just cause. Where to put them? Out with the old, in with the new! He obligingly wraps all the pieces of the outgoing set and hauls them over to the Sally Ann, leaving me to process the new sets through the dishwasher and into our waiting cupboards.

Do I consider this a wasteful process? You bet. Would I be prepared to take more care of our existing dish sets? Certainly. Yes indeed! Better yet, am I prepared to live with well-worn and chipped dish sets for the sake of fiscal prudence? Without question.

That, however, just represents half of this duo, and my husband, while appreciating a new set of dishes for a little while, soon becomes bored - they become a visual assault to his fastidious aesthetic - and off he goes again in search of that beautiful set of dishes guaranteed to make the act of consuming meals even more pleasurable.

Good thing we have an ample pantry where multiple sets can be readily stored. In an effort to keep him from boredom, we use sets turn-about. One type of porcelain dish sets for breakfast and lunch, others entirely for the more serious business of eating dinner.

Still, he sneaks out and comes back home with ever more ‘beautiful’ replacement dishes, even when replacement is not warranted. Do I protest? Need you ask!

Things could be worse. The dish sets he purchases are relatively inexpensive. Take our neighbour who also loves porcelain and lovely stemware and who prides herself inordinately on the sumptuousness of her table settings. The stemware she uses is stunning, to be sure, and she saved $120 per unit she assured me, by assiduously shopping on line.

Unlike me, she is careful with her treasures, and breaks nothing. Until, that is, one fateful dinner party she threw when her dining table actually collapsed, all the dinnerware and stemware slipping inexorably off the longer-perfectly stable surface, suddenly become perpendicular - along with the linen nappery. Six stemware pieces smashed.

I could replace the stemware we use at $1.20 per unit, not she, and she actually had her home insurance pay for replacement stemware. And that’s an entirely other story.

I’m happy to report, however, that my husband finally brought home a set of dishes that I truly enjoy using and am most happy with. Happy also to report that, after months of use, not one dish has been cracked or chipped, not one cup smashed. Yet. Actually he bought two sets. From Canadian Tire. On sale. At $10 each set.

He likes them too.