Earrings

So, there, I got it done. Finally. I actually wanted it done last year. Not just what I got done now, but I thought it would be really different, and I wanted to get my nose pierced. I saw some girls with pierced noses, and delicate little studs in them and I thought it looked really beautiful. So that’s what I wanted. Last year. I told my mom, and she was all right with it. She said she’d look into it for me. She told me not to say anything to my grandmother, and I knew just what she meant. I mean, grandmothers are kind of old and they don’t like things that are that different. I told her anyway.

I kind of couldn’t help it. I’m just so used to telling her everything. She always listens to me. Anyway, I told her, and I knew there’d be trouble. I wasn’t even sure she was still on the line, after I told her. There was this big silence. Then she asked me why, why there, why not get my ears pierced. I didn’t want to, I told her, everyone does that, I don’t want to be like everyone else.

“You don’t? Don’t you realize that by getting your nose pierced you’ll still be like everyone else, it’s just that it’s a different group of everyone elses. You’ll be just another person with a nose piercing. It’s not all that original, you know.”

“I don’t want to be original. I want to be me. And I’m different from most of the people I know. I don’t want to do the things they do. I think I’d look just fine with a nose piercing. Mom said it was all right, and that’s what I’m going to do.”

Grandma knows when she’s beat. When to give up. She’s smart in a lot of ways. She said nothing more. But she began sending me a whole lot of Internet sites with discussions on nose piercing. Some of them were from doctors and they had a lot to say about nose piercing, and a lot of it wasn’t very good. From my perspective, of course. And when I went over to visit with them during March break last year, Grandpa started in on me, while Grandma didn’t say another word.

“You’ll be labelling yourself”, he said.
“No, I won’t!”
“You will be presenting a façade that is interpreted as socially different in a not very useful way. A lot of people are put off with that kind of display of difference.”
“I am different!”
“Not in that kind of way, you’re not”, he said. “Just think about when you’re a little older and you apply for a job. Think an ear piercing will influence your selection?”
“I’ve seen girls wearing piercing and they’re working!”
“Sure, we have too. They’re all working at dead-end retail jobs. Is that what you’re anticipating for your future?”

I just hate it when they talk to me like that. If it’s all right with Mom, why do they have to interfere? I should’ve just said nothing about it, until it was over and done with. The next time they’d see me I’d be wearing a nice, neat little attractive stud in my nostril and there’d be nothing they could do about it.

Well, as it turned out, that didn’t happen, after all. Too young, all the places that do those things said. Illegal.

So, a year later, I got my ears pierced. Not the lobes, I didn’t want that. Every time I think about someone wearing hoops, I picture them getting pulled and the ears getting torn or something, it turns my stomach. I decided I’d rather have my ears pierced right at the very top. Mom said that sounded all right. Grandma wasn’t too averse to that, though true to form, she had to question me about - why there? I was pissed off.

When Mom made the appointment she was told there was an age requirement, and I was short a few months to 14. They said that would be all right, as long as she was there with me, and gave her permission. Mom told me they don’t use any kind of anaesthetic there, and they don’t use a punch, but a needle. Sounds kind of horrible, but Mom said it’s all right.

So we had the appointment, and I kind of thought maybe I’d change my mind. I knew it would hurt, there’s cartilage up there, not soft tissue like the ear lobes. That’s what Grandpa said, and I knew that, anyway. When we went into the shop and looked around it looked nice and clean and neat and there was all kinds of stuff to buy, like metal things to dangle when people got piercing on their eyebrows, or tongues (now that’s really gross), bellybutton, that kind of thing. Earrings too, lots of them.

But I’d already bought the earrings I wanted. At least Grandma did, she bought them for me, when we went to Winner’s. She kept picking out these little gold hoops even though I told her that wasn’t what I wanted. She’s really, really irritating sometimes. I saw these 14-kt-gold studs with round zircons in them. I knew they weren’t diamonds, if they were they’d cost a zillion dollars. They were on sale, and those were exactly what I wanted.

The technician who did my ears dropped the backing of one of the earrings. We looked for it, but couldn’t find it. She replaced it with a cheap one from one of her own earrings for sale, and when we got home Mom changed it into a gold backing from one of her earrings. She should’ve given us a discount off the $80 she charged, for that lost backing.

I had instructions that twice a day I had to use disinfectant on my ears, and to clean the earring posts too. I wasn’t supposed to sleep on my side for weeks. So the first night I tried to sleep on my back and couldn’t fall asleep. I tried sleeping on my front and that’s pretty impossible. It worked for maybe a half-hour and then I had to turn around on my back again. I didn’t get much sleep, believe me. Mom told me the next day that I should just go ahead and sleep on my side as usual, she doubted it would cause any problems.

And cleaning my ears? Uh-uh, not me. It’s sickening. Every time I looked at my ears I felt sick. When I saw a drop of blood on one of them, I felt like throwing up. So how’m I expected to clean them? I don’t even want to touch them, it’s gross. Mom has been cleaning my ears. And today, three days after I had them done, she took out the earrings to clean the posts, too. And then she couldn’t get them back in. She just couldn’t find the holes. I kind of panicked. And it hurt. So what happens? Jeff gave it a try and he got them back in. But it hurt, let me tell you. Mom says she’s not going to take them out again until a lot more time has passed. She said I have to turn them twice a day. I suppose I’ll eventually get around to disinfecting them myself. Not yet, though. I can’t even stand the thought of it.

First day back at school after March Break and what do you think Miss McGuire did? Her usual, of course. Nothing like welcome back class. I hope you had a wonderful holiday. No, she tore right into us, calling us stupid and lazy and we didn’t even know where she was coming from. But that’s the way she is. She’s crazy, honestly. I’ve never had such an awful teacher. She does have her favourites and she goes a little lighter on them. I’m sure not one of them.

I could’ve strangled Leigh-Anne. Bad enough we’re no longer best friends. Not my fault, though. I want her to just leave me alone. I don’t need her and she doesn’t need me. Except she says she misses our friendship. She’ll say to me and to the other girls how awful it is that we’re no longer friends. Then she’ll turn around in almost the same breath and whisper to someone something about me. Right in front of me. Or she’ll be rude like you wouldn’t believe. So I just haven’t been bothering even responding to her. There’s just no point.

People just won’t leave well enough alone. They all hate her, just kind of put up with her. And they talk about her behind her back, even though they feel sorry about what happened to her. And they ask me why I decided not to be friends with her any more. I don’t say anything to them. It’s none of their business. I’ve told Brenda, but she’s not supposed to say anything to anyone, and I trust her. I don’t know why they’ve got to bug me about that. Why don’t they go ahead and befriend her if they’re so interested? When she treats them like crap they'll know for themselves.

As if that’s not bad enough; Leigh-Anne and her stupid behaviour on top of Miss McGuire’s rants... Everyone is fascinated with my earrings. All the girls want to touch them. I’m like, forget it, my ears hurt, and if you try to touch the earrings it’ll be painful. Do they care? Even though I tell them that, they go ahead and try to touch them, anyway. Moron - really they’re stupid, some of them.

At gym, Morgan thought she was so smart, she got close enough to pull at my left ear and it hurt so badly I thought I’d cry. I told her she was an idiot. Not five minutes later she did the same thing again, with the other ear, and I swear, I almost slapped her. I should have slapped her, but I didn’t.

No, I don’t have any homework today. I’m reading this new novel by one of my favourite authors, Jodi Picoult. My Mom got it for me at Costco. I’ve got almost all of her books. She’s a great author. One of the women my Mom works with told me about her. I saw the book on her desk, and read the story synopsis and thought it sounded pretty cool. That’s what started me off on her. My grandmother ordered four of the books through Amazon. I’ve got three more left to go.