ME, LAST YEAR; 29th Installment

At school on Monday, Diane and Donna were talking, all excited about what they were going to wear to Sally’s party. Sally wasn’t with us, but Laura was, and she didn’t look too happy. Funny; Sally still hasn’t come right out and asked us two Jennifers to go, and I feel kind of funny.

“Laura” I said, sitting beside her, before home room class started. “Did Sally ask you to her party? Like I mean, say she wanted you to come?”

“Yes, of course she did.” And then she seemed like she was just shutting up or something. Her mouth got thin and she didn’t say anything else, and she didn’t seem to want to look right at me.

“I guess then, she’s asked Donna and Diane too?”

“No, I don’t think so.”

“Oh, I see. She just hasn’t got around to saying anything to the rest of us, yet.”

“Maybe. I don’t know what her plans are, Jennifer.”

I looked for Sally and saw her over with the kids in the in-group and I was kind of surprised. She looked comfortable with them, like she belonged, and usually they didn’t like any of us around them, much. Laura saw me looking and she turned to me, and shrugged her shoulders. I wonder what that’s supposed to mean?

Mr. Henderson came in and we all got in our seats like we’re supposed to. There were new supplies in, and we were all supposed to get new pens and rulers and erasers. New paper supplies, too. As usual, Kerry got the job of handing out the new stuff. It kind of makes him feel Mr.Big, so Mr. Henderson thinks it’s good for him. Keeps him busy, too, and I guess he thinks he’s special to get the job and then wants to act special, because he always acts good for a while afterward. Only thing is, if he’s mad at someone he kind of forgets to give them as much paper as the other kids, or he gives them a leaky pen or a broken eraser. Sally’s always talking mean to him, so he kind of got her back this morning, and was she ever mad! Too bad.

Later, at lunch time, Mom noticed me picking at this thing I got on the middle of my hand, and she had a look. I guess she didn’t like what she saw, and neither do I now that I know what it is. She made an appointment for me to see Dr. Salivas after school, end of the week.

Tomorrow night there’s a concert put on by Larry’s early music group that plays on Saturday. Larry reminded us all at the dinner table. “That reminds me”, he said. “Brent’s parents can’t go, do you think we can pick him up and take him with us?”

“That kid never has a ride”, Daddy grumbled. “What the hell do his parents do all the time?”

“Come on Dear, it’s not so bad. We won’t have to go much out of our way to pick him up. He’s a nice boy, and we should be glad to do it.” Good old Mom.

I think I know why Dad’s not so eager to pick Brent up. Mom told him the other day that I have a crush on Brent. I was so mad I could have screamed. You should have seen the surprised look on Daddy’s face. You know, his little girl….!

“Is that true?” he asked, turning to me.

“Oh Daddy, don’t listen to Mom, she’s just kidding.”

“Am I Dear?” Mom said sweetly. Oh, sometimes she’s just miserable. “Isn’t that why you’re so eager to be around whenever Larry has him over? Is that why you always listen in on their telephone conversations, because I’m kidding? Oh yes, I know you do.”

“Well so what, so what!” I yelled, feeling like crying. It’s so unfair, it’s not anybody’s business.

“So what indeed”, Mom said. “I happen to think it’s perfectly natural, so why are you so upset?”

“I don’t know! No one would ever look at me anyhow, I’m so stupid and fat and everything!”

“Why, that’s not true at all, Jen. You’re just as pretty as any of your friends, even if I am your mother. And I told you that’s just baby fat, you’ll lose it.” And she turned to Dad who kept watching me all the time like I was a strange fish, or something he was trying to catch. “Don’t you agree, Dear?”

“Of course you’re pretty, Jen. And even I’ve noticed that you’ve lost a bit of your chubbiness. In fact, you’re beginning to look quite the young lady, so stop feeling sorry for yourself.”

“It’s her age, Dear”, Mom murmured to him softly, but I heard her. My age again, crap!

Since then, Dad’s been suspicious of Brent and whenever he’s around Dad watches to see what I’m doing. If I’m hanging around, like, or like that. What a drag!

“What do you think?” Dad asked, turning to me. “should we pick beautiful Brent up and take him with us?” Lanky Larry was howling, laughing his fool head off, and my baby brother wasn't behaving any more civilized, yowling right along with Big Brother.

“Do whatever you like, Father", I said, trying to sound like I really didn’t care.

“I suppose we will, particularly if there’s no other way he can there. There’s something about that boy … I don’t know, he just seems supercilious.”

“So what if he acts silly sometimes”, I said, because I think it’s unfair that Daddy has to find fault with Brent just because he’s mad at him because of me.

“Silly? Who said anything about silly?” Dad said. And I was confused. “He’s anything but silly. In fact, he’s very bright, I admit it. But there’s an air about him that turns me off.”

“Didn’t you say he was silly?” I asked Dad.

“No, Dear”, Mom said, laughing. And so was Larry, but Brian not so much; he looked as puzzled as me. I hate it when someone laughs at me when I don’t understand something. It’s just not fair, and it’s not nice, either.

“Supercilious means someone who thinks he’s rather superior.”

“Oh … I thought it meant extra-silly. You know, super-silly. Oh, I’m so stupid!” But, I thought to myself, it’s a real good word, if I could only remember it, to describe precious Larry, too.

“No, you’re not at all stupid. It’s just that sometimes we tend to use words you don’t yet know. You do have a good vocabulary, you certainly read enough to help your command of English grow. Don’t feel so self-critical.” Even though Mom said that I know she thinks I’m stupid sometimes. She doesn’t want me to get down in the dumps, that’s all.

And it’s clear to me that Larry is very concerned about me too, since he breathed “stupid!” at me, when no one was looking. Count on him.

ME, LAST YEAR; 28th Installment

“I hope you realize, Jennifer”, Mom said to me later at home, “why it bothers me so much to see a magazine like ‘Playboy’ and I hope that you can make the distinction between our admiration for the nude human body and disgust with female exploitation. We want you to be able to recognize the difference between the human body as a beautiful work of nature, and the objectification of the female form for men’s delectation. What I mean more simply, is that human beings should be appreciated for what they represent internally far more than their external presence. We should not make a cult of the body beautiful as an ideal that feeds peoples’ egos and more specifically men’s erotic desires, to the exclusion of the recognition that women are thinking human beings no less than men." Another lecture, whoopee! I know enough that when Mom's started on one of these little lectures, nothing will stop her, until she's finished.

“The danger with nude pin-ups whose only function is to whet men’s desires, is that men tend to think of women as sex objects only, forgetting that we are intelligent, capable beings. In addition to that, women simply aren’t as perfectly formed as the male ideal would have us, so that there is pressure on women to look more like a male-conceived ideal. Whereas the emphasis on a human relationship should be mental attributes and personality affinities, not this preoccupation with an unrealistic body proportion." I hear you, I know, I know, I wanted to say, but I knew better.

"A shapely body and an empty head exists only in immature men’s fantasies. The men who want such a relationship aren’t capable themselves of too much heavy thinking or they wouldn’t be satisfied with a beautiful automaton that the pin-ups represent to them.” She's finished!

“I know Mom, I know, you don’t have to explain any more. Crap! As if you haven’t told us about stuff like that, before. How stupid do you think I am, anyway?” Actually, I’d agree to just about anything to get her to stop her indignant speechifying.

It turned cold again on Sunday, and then snowed a little, so me and Jennifer decided to go cross-country skiing. It would probably be our last chance. The snow wasn’t too good, but we had fun. Even if I did have the sniffles, and Mom thought I should stay home and nurse myself with lots to drink, and rest. If I listened to her, I’d never have any fun.

Jen came to call on me and we went through the park. When we got to where there weren’t any houses and then the park goes on into the green belt we went through a bunch of trees and where there was fresh snow we saw tracks we thought were squirrel, but then Jen said they were rabbits.

“How do you know?” I asked her. “I mean, what makes you think they’re from rabbits?”

“I can tell”, she laughed, “by the droppings”.

“Droppings? What’s that?”

“You know, when they go to the bathroom? See those little black things under the trees? Those’re rabbit droppings.”

“Gross!”

“Don’t be stupid, that’s nature.”

“Anyhow, how do you know?”

“ I used to have a pet rabbit a long time ago. And see the tracks are different than a squirrel’s.”

She’s smart and knows a lot of things like that. Like when we saw a bunch of birds in the trees she knew they were chickadees and she told me to listen for their call and it really did sound like their name.

We sat down for a while near a creek bed. We weren’t going to be able to ski out on the creek this time, because the ice was melting, so we decided not to go any further. Anyway, we were tired. I fell going down the slope to the creek, and we thought we’d sit around awhile to kind of rest up.

“Hey, remember I told you I was going over to meet some kid because her mother called on my mother?”

“Oh sure. What happened?”

“Her name was Barbra Kraft.”

“I don’t know her, do I?”

“You know, a girl with long blonde hair in KC-W? She wears show-off-fancy stuff all the time and hangs out with a bunch of guys who smoke and like that? She’s kind of got a reputation. Sally talks about her a lot, thinks she’s really smart.”

“I don’t know. Was that her?”

“Was it ever! You should’ve seen her. Makeup sloshed all over her face, and chewing gum like crazy, and dressed like she was twenty or something! Did she ever make an impression on my mother!”

“Oh yeah? It wasn’t so great, huh?”

“Well, her and her mother seemed kind of phony. Just the kind of people my mother never has anything to do with, and I just laughed inside, to see Mom squirm through it. Kind of mean of me, but then I didn’t want to go in the first place. Barbra is very mature like, and here my mother is always babying me like I’m five years old or something. She’d have a fit if she ever saw me in makeup. I think she got kind of scared when she saw Barbra and then when she compared her to me she must’ve thought ‘my baby’ or something like, and she hasn’t complained about anything I’ve done, since. Though it’s only been a couple of days. She’ll forget about it soon enough, I guess, and start bugging me again.”

“Mothers are like that. Always comparing you to someone else. Lucky for you you were compared with someone your mother doesn’t like. If it was the other way around, like my mother comparing me to my cousin, she’d be after you all the time. Don‘t know why, but they‘re never satisfied with us, we‘re always doing things wrong, and other peoples‘ kids seem so great, compared to theirs.”

ME, LAST YEAR; 27th Installment

I did get home a little late after school, after all. That was one of the afternoons Mr. Bryant decided to hold some of us back after math to see if we had any more problems. Nice of him, but I had to explain that my mother told me to be right home after school. He looked at me kind of suspicious. Crap! As if I want to go and see that kid anyway! And then he told me to run along. Run along! Like I’m some little kid or something!

So we walked over to this house, me and Mom. It was only a couple of blocks away from our house. Half the snow is melted, it’s all slushy out and I had to watch where I was going. Like, when I’m with Mom I’m not supposed to walk through big slushy puddles. Even though I'm wearing boots; figure that one out. Mom was kind of mad at me because we were fifteen minutes later than she told the woman we would be, but I told her I was lucky to get away as soon as I did.

Then on the way there, she nagged me for not having combed my hair before we left the house. And as if that wasn’t enough, she said “please be careful of your language there, I wouldn’t care to have you make a poor impression.” Like we were visiting the Queen, or something.

When we got there, Mom rang the doorbell and we stood outside on the porch with everything dripping around us, and just waited and waited and I said, if we’re expected how come we’ve got to wait around like this? And Mom raised her eyebrows at me like she does when she's annoyed, and she really jabbed the doorbell again.

Finally, a lady opened the door and smiled like maple sugar at us and let us in. She introduced us all around like to her, and her little kid, and took our coats. I didn’t feel very comfortable and I could see that Mom wasn’t feeling any better. I don’t exactly know why.

There were two cute little French poodles, one white and the other black and they kept jumping up on us, really excited. I didn’t mind, but they tore Mom’s pantyhose and I kind of think she wasn’t too happy about that.

Anyway, this woman took us into her living room and it was really nice. The living room I mean. Everything looked new and expensive. I sat down on the edge of a sofa next to Mom and the woman said sorry, but her daughter wasn’t home from school yet, and crap! Did I ever feel like raising my eyebrows at Mom. Mom and the lady talked about the area, the houses, stuff like that. She asked did we attend Synagogue, and Mom said no.

She asked Mom what Daddy does for a living, and Mom hates when people ask you that right off, like they’re pinning you down and putting a tag on you. The lady said when they moved, they really wanted to buy a house in a fancier neighbourhood, but they couldn’t afford it at the time, so they decided to move here. That must’ve tickled Mom’s fancy, because she thinks this is a great place to live. I do too, of course.

“We think very highly of this neighbourhood”, Mom said to Mrs. Kraft (that was the lady’s name). “The neighbours are very nice, we love the parks here and the schools appear to be superior. Personally, I’ve been able to get right into feeling a part of things, acting as a volunteer in the local library, the school. If you’d like to get to know the community a little better, perhaps you’d like to come into Barbra’s school as a parent volunteer? They need parents in many capacities and just in the library alone I know they could use more parent volunteers.”

“Not me”, Mrs. Kraft laughed. “I don’t go for that kind of involvement. Anyway, I’m much, much too busy. I’ve got all kinds of things to do.” And she began to tick off on her fingers all the appointments she had to keep and the committees she was busy with. Boy, she sure was busy. Mom never does any of those things. “I’ve got my hairdresser on Monday afternoons, then fitness classes on Tuesdays, Bridge Club on Wednesday, then we bowl on Thursday afternoons, and I’ve got all my friends to see at lunch. Oh, I keep a very busy schedule.” Mrs. Kraft looked very pleased with herself. I kept turning my head from her to Mom, to kind of get a feel of how Mom was taking all of that.

“Oh, I see”, Mom said kind of stiffly, nodding her head with a funny smile plastered on her face. After that she kind of didn’t offer any more suggestions about getting to know your community better, or anything like that.

Mom looked around and said the house was lovely. Mom knows a lot about antiques and art and she said something about some things Mrs. Kraft had. Mrs. Kraft seemed a little snooty and she didn’t seem to know much about her stuff, so Mom let that drop It wasn’t very nice, sitting there, waiting for this kid Barbra to come home, and Mom and Mrs. Kraft didn’t seem to be hitting it off. Mrs. Kraft smiled kind of plastic and talked about clubs she belongs to, trips she goes on, hairdressers and stuff, and how hard it was to get a good ‘char’ in the area. I know that means cleaning woman, but I never heard anyone say that before. Mom had told me about that a while ago, saying she hates it when people talk like that. Mom kept shaking her head yes, and not saying too much. She doesn’t join clubs and go to hairdressers and stuff.

Finally, this kid came in and Mrs. Kraft introduced her. I knew who she was the minute I saw her, anyway. Mom’s eyes got real big and she said “is this your daughter?” I didn’t blame her, the kid didn’t look my age at all.

“Well, Barbra is a little mature-looking for her age, to be sure”, Mrs. Kraft laughed. Then she introduced us to each other, me and her. She didn’t like what she saw any better than I did. She went and sat down at the other end of the room. Then she looked into the dining room and noticed a shopping bag sitting on the floor.

“Hey, Mom!” she said, real loud. “You got the stuff, eh?”

“Yes Dear”, her mother said. “Don’t bother looking at it now. You can see it later.” But Barbra got up anyway and dug into the bag and brought out all kinds of stuff like party favours and bloomers and balloons, and giggled. Her mother was annoyed with her. There was Playboy magazines and ashtrays with naked girls and some stupid things where a little kid is peeing, and some yellow stuff fills up in a toilet bowl. Barbra was laughing like crazy and playing with the stuff and her mother said, kind of mad: “Put it away”. But Barbra ignored her. Mrs. Kraft smiled, embarrassed like, at Mom, and said, it was for a bowling banquet and she was told to get the stuff. I could see she made quite an impression on Mom. I felt like laughing my fool head off.

Mom gave an embarrassed laugh, and then turned to the kid and said: “How is it I’ve never seen you before, Barbra? I thought I’d seen most of the faces around the school at one time or another in the library.”

“Oh, not me, I wouldn’t go in there. Not for anything. I hate books, I wouldn’t be seen dead in there!” Another score for me, big-time. Mom thinks that anyone who doesn’t read books is either deprived or depraved, I’m not sure which; maybe in this kid’s case, it’s both.

Barbra must wear about a size fifty-six bra if they make them that big, and she wears real tight skirts and pants and gobs of makeup and it turns out she’s a couple of months older than me, that’s all. Her hair is very neat, it’s true, but I couldn’t help wondering what Mom thought of this kid she was so eager to have me meet.

I never felt so uncomfortable! There just didn’t seem to be anything much to say, and Barbra just ignored me. She said to her mother, “Hey, guess what?”. And her mother said, “What?” And Barbra said “Remember Mr. Farraday, I told you about him, the boys’ gym teacher? Well, he’s been going out on dates with a kid in my room.”

I looked at Mrs. Kraft and she looked very pleased. Mom sure didn’t.

“Barbra”, Mom said: “Where on earth did you pick up that kind of information? I know Mr. Farraday personally and he is just not that kind of person. Besides, if any teacher ever did such a thing, he’d stand in danger of losing his job.”

“Oh, it’s true”, Barbara said. “You just ask any of the kids in my class. It’s true, he likes to go out with young girls.”

“Now Barbra”, her mother said. “That’s gossip”, and honestly, her mother laughed.

“It may be that the other girls in your class are spreading a rumour like that, but it’s malicious slander. Mr. Farraday just happens to be a handsome young man and young girls enjoy daydreaming. He’s not that kind of person though, and you would be doing him a real harm to continue talking like that”, Mom said.

“What can you do?” Mrs. Kraft said to Mom. “They talk like that.” Then she shrugged her shoulders and laughed again. “But like I always say, where there’s smoke, there’s fire.”

“Oh yes?”, Mom said, and she didn’t look too happy. “Well, it’s been very nice, it was most interesting to meet you both, but I’m afraid we really must be getting back. I must get dinner going.” And I knew that was a lie, because it hadn’t been nice at all, and Mom didn’t feel that it had been, and there was no big hurry to get going on dinner because there was a casserole in the oven and the oven was timed to turn on automatically. I peeked when I got home from school.

“Oh well, Mrs. Feldman”, Mrs. Kraft said. “Our mutual friend thought that our girls would have a great deal in common. I wondered whether you might like me to take Jennifer with us when we go to the Community Centre on Friday nights, when I take Barbra.”

“Oh? What does Barbra do there?” Mom asked.

“Why, she meets other young people like herself. Actually, it’s an excellent place to meet really nice young men. Good calibre boys who come from the best families.”

“Why thank you, Mrs. Kraft”, Mom said. “However, Jennifer is much too young to even think about boys, let alone go out with them, and I’m afraid I would never consider permitting her to go out to the centre.” The thing is, I know and my brothers know, that Mom and Dad first met when they were both fourteen. They went out together regularly, and it wasn’t long before they were always together, and Mom’s parents didn’t like it one little bit. They said she was too young, and they weren’t all that keen on Dad’s parents. But here’s Mom, and Dad too, saying fourteen is just too young for their little precious to be ‘even thinking about boys’. Sheesh!

“That’s too bad. Your daughter has to grow up some time, you know?” Mrs. Kraft smiled, but her voice didn’t sound too friendly.

We said goodbye and when we got out on the street, Mom took a deep breath and laughed and then hugged me, and said she never wanted me to be anything like Barbra. She said I could talk like I want, and wear my hair anyway I want to, and she doesn’t care anymore. Gee, it’s really nice to be appreciated.

ME, LAST YEAR; 26th Installment

When I got home from school Mom told me she’d got a telephone call from someone she’d never met but who got her name from someone they both know. This woman heard, Mom said, that Mom has a daughter her own daughter’s age, and she said she thought it might be very nice if Mom brought her daughter (that’s me), over to this woman’s house to meet her daughter (that ‘s the other woman’s daughter).

“Crap! Mom, you've got to be kidding!”

“Dear, I am not kidding, this woman called me, and for heaven’s sake, what’s so outrageous about that? And PLEASE, Jennifer, MUST you always resort to that word?”

“Word? What word?”

“Must I say it … Crap … well, that word you always use.”

“Crap? You don’t like that, either? I don’t do anything right. I don’t say anything right. You’re always after me to stop saying this or that and now you expect me to go over and meet some kid I don’t know and probably won’t like and I don’t see why I should have to.”

“You’re always saying there are so many petty intrigues among your girlfriends at school. Don’t you think it might be nice to broaden your circle of acquaintances? I spoke to the woman for a short while, and she seemed very nice. Although it did seem rather peculiar to me that she would call, I admit. After all, though, what can you lose? If you and the girl don’t care for one another you needn’t have anything further to do with one another. Come on, be adventuresome.”

“That’s not exactly the kind of adventure that appeals to me. Can’t you tell her I’m too busy? You know, answering fan-club letters, that kind of thing?”

“Verry clever!” Mom said, but it didn’t sound like a compliment at all; her voice got very sticky. I sighed and thought oh, she’s right, what can I lose, maybe I’ll go and meet someone really nice and anyway, if I don’t Mom’ll be mad at me.

“If you really want me to, okay I’ll go. But please remember I’m not awfully enthusiastic about it.”

“That’s fairly evident, Dear”, she said, and the ‘dear’ didn’t sound very dear. “At any rate, I’m rather curious myself. I’d like to see what they’re like and what the reasoning behind all of this might be, apart from a mother looking for a new friend for her child.”

Hah! I thought, she’s using me as a guinea pig! Oh, excuse me, Munchkin and Grumpkin. But then I thought, poor Mom, she’s bored, Daddy’s been away this week and won’t be back until Friday. She probably just wants to meet the woman to see if she can make a new friend herself. I thought I could make that little sacrifice for her. So, day after tomorrow I’m supposed to come right home after school to go over there with her. Yuck!

I told Jennifer about going over to meet this kid and she thinks it’s kind of funny-queer too.

“You know her name?” she asked me.

“Crap! I forgot to even ask. That shows you how interested I am, eh?”

“Oh well, give it a chance. She might be nice.”

“I can’t figure why anybody’s mother would want to call someone to have them bring over their kid to meet their kid, if you know what I mean.”

“Yeah, I don’t know either. Maybe the kid’s got bad breath or something awful like that.”

“Ha-ha. Nobody’s bad breath could be as awful as the smell of the locker room when everyone’s changing out of their boots, getting on their shoes.”

“Isn’t it the truth? Sometimes I think I’m going to barf when I go in there and smell it. The awful thing is, it hangs around for hours ‘specially after some bunch of guys have had gym.”

“MUST be the boys. Us girls don’t smell like that, huh?”

“Oh no, not much.”

“By the way”, Jen said in a funny kind of way, like she was trying to be casual, but didn’t feel that way, “have you heard Sally talking about her party lately?”

“Well sure, I have. But mostly to the other kids. I noticed that when we come around she drops the subject. I wonder why?”

“I’m not sure. It makes me sick to see Diane and Donna just lap up all the plans she throws around. What makes me really mad though, is all the hints she keeps tossing off about what she’d really like as gifts.”

“I know what you mean. How about when Donna was trying to feel her out and asked her did she like jewellery?”

“You mean when she said only GOOD jewellery, like gold and silver? Yeah. Who’s she kidding?”

“Well, it was kind of funny to see Donna’s mouth hang open, there. I thought it might be funny if Kerry came along then and let fly with one of his spit balls but wouldn’t you know it, he’s only there when you don’t want him.”

“Boy, are we ever awful!”, she said, and we both giggled like crazy.

ME, LAST YEAR; 25th Installment

I went over to Jennifer’s house after school and we played with Lumpy, her guinea pig. I think she knows me now. She sees me so often. But it’s hard to tell with guinea pigs. Soon as the weather gets a little warmer, Jen’s going to bring her over to meet my pigs. Good thing she’s a she and not a he.

Jen’s mother has started working part-time in the afternoons and she’s got to go home right after school so she can watch her little brothers and sister. And she puts potatoes on to cook for supper and stuff like that. I watch her and sometimes help her and it’s really fun. The other day we made a salad - she washed the vegetables and I cut them up into a wooden bowl. It’s never so much fun doing things at home with Mom standing over me and telling me do this, don’t do that, and stuff like that.

“How come you know how to do all this stuff, Jen?” I asked her the first time.

“Oh, I don’t know”, she said. “I always used to watch my mother, and sometimes she let me do stuff and she got out of the kitchen so I had to do it myself. What’s so great about that?”

“I don’t know how to do anything, much.”

“Well, what do you want to do?”

“I don’t know. Nothing, I guess. My mother’s always doing things, so there’s nothing for me to do. But if I ever had to do something I don’t know if I’d know what to do.”

“Yeah, I know what you mean. Want to make bran muffins with me?”

And so she got all the stuff we needed out of cupboards and it didn’t take long at all to mix up a batch of bran muffins. The funny thing was, she let me do most of the stuff and all, and it wasn’t so hard. I kind of remembered the things to do from watching Mom, and it was fun. Only thing was, I had to go home for dinner before the bran muffins came out of the oven and at school next day, Jennifer said all the muffins went so fast, there just weren’t any left over. She said she told her mother I made them mostly, and her mother said, thanks very much.

We had a fire drill at school this morning, and wouldn’t you know it, I didn’t have any shoes on. We were at Home Economics. The stuffed animals are almost finished, and the bell rang and Miss Blount started to herd us all out the doors and I wasn’t the only one without shoes on.

“Miss Blount”, me and some other kids started saying, “We can’t go out…” But she didn’t give us a chance to finish, and said in her loud voice, “nonsense! Out you go this instant!” And sure, what’re you supposed to do, so we went out and stood around outside in the freezing cold and snow.

We all had wet feet and when we got back in, were we ever cold! We asked permission to go to our lockers to get our shoes on and the rest of the morning was really uncomfortable. Mr. Drouin, the principal, made an announcement over the P.A. that it was noted some students were outdoors without shoes.

“Henceforth”, he said, “No students are to be devoid of footwear in this school. There will be fines visited on any students who are found without properly shod feet in the classrooms, halls, or wherever.”

“Why weren’t you wearing your shoes?” Jennifer asked me. She never does anything wrong. She’s the most sensible person I know.

“I didn’t know we were going to have a fire drill.”

“Well sure, no one knew that, but Jen, you should always have your shoes on anyway. What if you ever stepped on a tack or something? You could easily get a straight-pin or a needle in your foot at Home Economics or something.”

“I know, I know. The thing is, you know those shoes my mom bought me, the ones I really, really wanted to have?”

“You mean the black-and-tan laced ones?”

“Right. Well, they’ve got those heels and soles that’re almost platform? I guess my mom was right. They’re not very comfortable. I just can’t stand to wear them, but I don’t want to tell my mother. She’d hit the roof.”

“That’s a problem, all right. But you better wear your running shoes or something from now on, eh Jen? Like I wouldn’t have been too comfortable outside in the snow with no shoes on.”

I know she’s right, and I’m stupid. When we were waiting outside to be let back in, she made me stand with my feet kind of on her shoe toes but it wasn’t easy to do and I got all wet anyway. We must’ve looked pretty silly wobbling around like that.

ME, LAST YEAR; 24th Installment

Well, we got back our success projects this afternoon and was I ever surprised. I got a C-minus, how about that! Mr. Henderson wrote across my project, in red ink - all over my nice neat writing - that I must have misunderstood his instructions because I didn’t base my success sorry on a famous person. Well, why should I, why should just famous people be successful?

“Mr. Henderson” I said after I raised my hand, “my mother says there are a lot of people who are well known and rich but they have an unhappy personal life. I don’t think that’s successful.”

“Yes, that’s true, of course. There are many people who have achieved renown and wealth and are personally unhappy, but who is to say what constitutes true happiness? It is not a constant condition and changes with the personality and his aspirations. However, I plainly mentioned that you were to use as a vehicle for your project a person known to many, who had achieved success. While I did appreciate much of what you wrote, it was not quite what I asked for.”

“Sir, that mark I got wasn’t really fair.”

“Jennifer, I’ve explained to you that you handed in your assignment revolving around personal motivation and orientation, and that is not at all what I asked you for. Learn to listen better in future. I’m afraid I’m not prepared to negotiate a better mark for you.”

I usually get good marks in English composition and it’s one of my good subjects. And Mr. Henderson usually listens better than that, when I tell him my reasons for what I did. I guess he doesn’t much like me anymore, either.

What’s the matter with everyone, anyway? And what’s the matter with me?

“And now that I think of it", he said, turning back from the blackboard, “what on earth have you done with your name?”

“Beg pardon?” I said.

“Your name, Jennifer. Lately you’ve been handing in your work under a variety of name spellings. Are you searching for your identity?”

And wouldn’t you know it, all the kids laughed their fool heads off. “Hey, Jenny, you lost?” Kerry screamed all over the place. I could have smacked him.

“Not at all, Sir”, I replied, trying to sound calm, but I was so mad I felt like yelling at him. Why didn’t he ask me privately, instead of making me look so stupid in front of all the other kids? They’ll never stop fooling around with my name after this!

“Well Jennifer, which is to be your final spelling? I notice you’ve spelled your name Jaenifer, Jennyfer and Jennyfaer. All very exotic, I’ll admit, but rather confusing. Have you taken this matter up with your parents?”

He was making me look like an idiot-ass and I felt like crying. Honest, my eyes felt like they were burning. I couldn’t answer, because my throat felt swollen and I really thought I’d cry if I said something, so I just shook my head, and he chuckled and turned back to the board.

Kerry kept throwing spitballs at me the rest of the afternoon, and when I’d turn around to tell him to get lost, he’d mouth “Jennibear” at me, and all the kids would laugh.

“Gonna be a movie actress?” Sally asked me, blinking her dirty lashes at me, later.

“Not at all”, I said, real cool. “I’m practising to be a world-famous scholar, an expert in classical languages, a brain surgeon and maybe you’ll be my first patient. I’ll give you a lobotomy.” I’m sure she didn’t know what a lobotomy was, and I just found out yesterday after Larry told me, but she was mad anyway.

ME, LAST YEAR; 23rd Installment

Me and Jennifer brought home our cutting boards for our moms and they really liked them. I know Mom did anyway, she thought it was just great. She hung it up on the kitchen wall and it looks really nice. We had our first Home Economics class. Well, it wasn’t really much of a class. Just kind of getting to know the teacher, Miss Blount. And she told us what-all we’re going to do.

This turn around we’ll all be doing stuffed animals. We think that’s kind of dumb, being in grade eight and making stuffed animals, but they’re cute, and we all could pick either an octopus or a mouse or an elephant pattern. I picked the mouse because I liked the long tassel tail and Jennifer picked an octopus. We’re supposed to get our own material, so we just don’t understand why we’ve got to bring two dollars next class for supplies. Miss Blount said it was to pay for the patterns, although we don’t get to keep them, and for thread and bobbins and stuff. We think it’s a rip-off.

Looks like Sally is planning a party and does she ever talk a lot about it, at lunch time, at recess and right through classes. We keep getting told to be quiet, but she never listens. During tutorial when we were all supposed to be studying in the library about the Maritime Provinces, all she did was yak about her party.

“I can’t decide”, she said, “whether to have it out, like invite everyone over to MacDonald’s, or at the Ponderosa, or something like that, or to have it at home so we can dance.”

“What for do you want to dance?” Donna asked. Privately, I was curious about that too, but I wasn’t about to ask her.

“What do you think for, dummy!” she responded, so sweetly. “You think I’m going to have a kiddie party - like without boys? My party will be mixed and we’re going to dance, and all.”

“That sounds really nice”, Laura said, getting all excited. I don’t know what for. “You going to ask your brother to the party?”

“Oh, I guess so. If he’s around he can come, if he wants to.”

“What kind of food you having if it’s at home?” Donna wanted to know. It figured.

“I haven’t decided. Something special, though. No hot dogs or kid stuff like that. Maybe steaks and French fries and Baked Alaska or something like that.”

“Wow! Baked Alaskas! That’s marvy! I’d love to come!” Is that Donna ever enthusiastic about her stomach!

“My dear child”, Sally looked at Donna like she wasn’t even looking at her. “Whatever gives you the idea that just anyone will get an invitation? I intend to be very selective. I’m afraid I haven’t yet decided just who I will invite. After all, mine is going to be a very special occasion.”

Poor Donna, her face really fell. I wonder, does Sally mean to invite us all, or what? She’s got to invite me because I invited her, but if she doesn’t invite Jennifer T or Diane or Donna I’ll just refuse to go. That’s what I’ll do, I’ll just be real cool and refuse her invitation if she doesn’t ask them too. She’d feel so bad I’m sure, she would reconsider inviting the others.

“Hey!” Diane said. “What’s the party for?”

“Well, for me, of course. What did you think?:

“I mean, is it for your birthday, or what?”

“Well, I already had my birthday last week … I didn’t tell you guys because I didn’t want to make you feel bad about all the great things I got for gifts and like that. I wasn’t going to have a party, but my mother insisted that I have one. So sure, it’s a birthday party.”

I guess that means presents are in order, but I’m not asking or anything. I don’t want her to think I’m all anxious to go or anything like that. Although of course, I would like to go, kind of.