Wondering

You wondered when you were a little
girl what it would be like to have a tiny
creature of your own, so when you were
given a kitten to hold and it peed on you
you wondered no more. You wondered
a little older what lay over the fence in
the next yard until the girl who lived
there finally invited you in and showed
you a hatch in the grass, lifting it to reveal
a set of rustic-green steps and when you
clambered after her there was a wide
meadow, a tiny house and a tinier man
sitting beside it, and then you knew and
wondered no more. You wondered when
you entered your teen years what it must
be like for the one girl in the class who
was tall, blond, developed and wore makeup
what it must be like and among all the others
in the class she befriended you alone, took
you to her home, introduced you to her
father whom you knew instinctively your
parents would never approve of, yet
admired his daughter who took a job as
a movie usher in uniform and before the
year was out left school, expecting a baby.
You wondered why it was that people
distrusted one another and your father
told you ignorance, so you vowed never
to be ignorant.  You wondered why it was
that complete strangers approached you
to question where you were 'from' and
were never satisfied with your response
urging you to tell them where you were
after all, 'really' from, and you wondered.