Unhappy Narcissist

The comfortable arena of denial
does its critical function proud;
saving the ego from extreme
distress and pride in self from
a needful introspection.

To void oneself of the indignity
of failure to become responsible,
one indulges in these plaintive
shirkings of cause and effect of
unacknowledged acts initiated;
sins of unrewarded commission.

But all such habits have
consequences, when paranoia breeds
defensive contempt and the slow
degradation of relations slide inevitably
from emotional intimacy to brittle
distrust and breakdown.

Convinced of faultless demeanor
an open trustingness leading to a
soft vulnerability; poor abandoned
soul, the world has turned a deaf,
uncomprehending ear to your
incomprehensible suffering miseries.

Face yourself. Speak clarity to
your reluctant inner self, unwilling
to delve deep to solve the mystery of
your goodness, charity and compassion
overwhelmed by others' cruel deceits,
not your own delusional conceits.

Be kind to yourself as a start and those
who find it in themselves to care deeply
for you as a cherished kin whose genetic
inheritance you carry in excess; find the
way to be less rapaciously irascible with
them as with yourself in despair.

Shed your bitter rancour, there can
be no grace there, nor salvation from
a lifetime of self imposed, aggravated
unhappiness with the induced conviction
that life is your uniquely personal hell.