Dear Madam

I imagine it to be of
questionable value to you
that I close this letter with the
sentiment, however sincere -
and it indeed is that - of regret,
that I am the bearer of
ill tidings. I take no
pleasure, I assure you madam,
in imparting to you that
your mother has left
this mortal coil.

I do but my duty
informing you that as the
executor of your late,
esteemed mother's estate,
you should expect nothing to
have been left to you. As a
reasonable individual you
will doubtless agree
that due to your long silence
in the face of your mother's
prolonged illness,
your decision to remain
alienated from her,
from your siblings,
and your child whom you
tasked your mother to raise,
it only makes sense that she
determined to divide her
considerable estate among
her other children,
all of whom offered her love and
comfort. Rest assured, madam,
this is fair and just
in the eyes of the law.

Your portion has been
bequeathed to your
lovely daughter.