ME, LAST YEAR; 5th Installment

“Well, Jennifer…. Aren’t you going to tell your friends?”

“You tell them. They asked you. After all", I said snappishly “You’re the one who brought it up. You said you’re a woman.”

“Hah! I thought so! You haven’t started yet”, she chortled. “That means I’m the only one who has. Too bad, girls. You still have to wait to grow up.”

I could've smacked her. She turned her back to me and began to tell the other girls all about it. I could feel my face turn red. The idiot-ass!

“I was so surprised when I got up this morning and found, guess what! On my panties. Well, like, I wasn’t so surprised. I knew it would be soon. I feel so grown up. And I’ve had everything prepared for a while. This morning was the big deal and now”, she lowered her voice, shifting her eyes around to see that everyone heard, “I’m wearing a sanitary napkin!”

“Oh!” said dumb Donna. “Is it uncomfortable? Can you walk all right?”

“It’s comfortable all right. Next time I’m going to try Tampons.”

“What’re they?”

“They’re little things you wear”, and she paused for effect: “inside!”

“Inside what?" Asked Donna Dumb ass.

“INSIDE, stupid! What do you think?” And Donna blushed this time, and shut up. Big deal.

After school me and Laura walked home together and she said what did I think of what Sally’d said.

“I don’t know. Why do I have to think about it? Are you? I mean, thinking about it?”

“Yes. I don’t want to get it. I don’t want to bleed and get cramps and everything. I’d rather not have anything like that. I wish you could stop it.”

“Well you can’t, you know. All women get it. You might not get cramps though, not everyone does. I prob’ly will because my mother always did - does. You might not. Don’t think about it, Laura.”

“Everyone calls it the curse. It sounds horrible.”

“That’s stupid. It’s not a curse. My mother says it’s nature preparing us to bear children. Anyway, you know all about that. Laura, if you get to thinking it’s horrible, it will be horrible. You’ve got to not think about it, or just to accept it. It can’t be helped.”

“I don’t want to wear a dirty bloody bandage between my legs. How can you walk without everyone knowing what’s there?”

“ I know it sounds creepy, but I’m sure it’s not so bad. Have you ever noticed anyone walking funny, like what you think?”

“No, but I’m sure I would. Ugh.”

And when I got home, I asked Mom how old she was when she first got her period.

“Why, I don’t remember”, she said, looking at me, surprised. Probably because I rarely talk about things like that and Mom thinks I’m too up-tight about them. Whenever she starts talking, I always get kind of fidgety. “I must have been about thirteen, perhaps closer to fourteen. Why do you ask, Dear?”

I could almost see the gears going round in Mom’s head, the way she was looking at me, as though anticipating that I had something important to tell her.

“Oh, no special reason. Just wondering.”

“You’re not feeling poorly, are you Dear?” She hedged, not wanting to come right out with it. She’s awfully transparent sometimes, when she thinks she’s being cautious and I don’t know what she’s thinking. I guess it’s something like when she surprises me when she knows what I’m thinking.

“No, Mom. I’m fine. And I haven’t begun my period or anything. I’ll tell you when I do, don’t worry.”

“Whatever makes you think I’m worried? I just don’t want you to be. I want you to be relaxed about it, to think of it as perfectly natural.” There she goes again. Like, she gets so agitated whenever she talks about it, that I wonder how she imagines I can be casual about it, anyway.

“Sally bragged at school today that she’s got her period”, I told her.

“Sally, that’s the mouthy little blonde girl isn’t it?” As though she doesn’t know, the way I’m always talking about her. “What on Earth is she bragging about?”

“She thinks it’s a big deal. Wants us all to worship her for getting over the hurdle, I guess.”

“Do you really talk about things like that with your friends, Jen?”

“Not me, Mom. Not usually, anyway. It’s not all that interesting, after all. Sally brought it up, then me and Laura had a little talk on the way home from school. She’s ‘scared. Laura, I mean. I told her not to be. Am I late getting my period, Mom? I mean, should I have had it already?”

“No Jen, not necessarily. You’re only thirteen, for heaven’s sake. Some girls have it early, some late. If you take after me, and I think you do, it’s too early for you. Are you in a hurry? You needn’t be, believe me. You’ll have it a long, long time. And although it’s true it’s a perfectly natural function, it is also a damned nuisance. Your time will come, fear not.” And she laughed and rushed over to hug me. I kind of like it when she does things like that, but it makes me feel funny, like shy.