Canadian Jewish Outlook, October 1980

Herewith, the latest selection from dusted-off published poetry and short fiction, circa 1970s vintage and beyond....

Then Who Will Be For Me?

Canadian born I am and proud
but my life has been
one long subliminal
history lesson inheritance
of The Wanderers.
Although secure
'Assyria' 'Roma' 'Germany'
send shudders of unremembered agony
through my bones.

Living memory tells me
my grandfather's premature blood
coloured the autumn forests
of Europe and
my grandmother's brittle skeleton
enriched its soil.
Countless aunts and uncles
their mewling offspring
putrefied European air
with the stench of
apprehended lives.

My eyes watch inward
the unfolding cinematic reel
of carnageshed unparalleled
see unbelieving self
rushed precipitate to death
my children holding out
imploring hands to me
impaled on history's bloody staff.

My lifeblood sprinkles
forgotten dirt
my bones move restlessly
in that mass pit
over which crops grow
so gracefully enriched.

I remember once-proud
citizenship unrenewed;
dream this way in my
waking hours my fitful sleep.

Reality will impinge
and about me normality.
But I recall those others who trusted.
Those restless souls who won't
let me forget.
Neither a martyr
nor a hero would I be.

If I am not for myself....

c. 1980 Rita Rosenfeld
published in Canadian Jewish Outlook, Vol.18, No.9