Time and Again

Bruised by yet another in an endless
string of disappointments she feels her
confidence cruelly shaken, but remains
defiantly undaunted. Is it futile to seek
a companion to share life with, to have
an open and trusting mind that as you give,
so will your emotional investment be
returned? That logical formula has been
found lacking, for there is no logic
inherent in emotions and responses.

One race, separated and mysterious by
virtue of gender-sensibilities. The view,
the response, the need and the balance of
the alliance sits uneasily upon the gender
values, leavened with human eccentricities,
the search for meaning as opposed to the
trite and shallow path of self-absorption,
the egoistic id, failing the hopeful other.

They stand like stone dolmens in her
memory, each in their turn evoking a
voiceless reproach that her investment was
too little valued, her offering taken and
nothing of lasting value exchanged. No
reason not to think that there is, somewhere,
one who searches as she does, and their
paths may some day converge...

No reason but the acquired pain of too
many encounters lacking commitment,
one after the weary other. The evanescent
promise never fulfilled; in its place abuse
of trust and feelings and need. So she nurses
her hurt and bruised expectations, lavishes
love on companion pets and envies the
steady reliability of her aged parents'
traditional covenant of love and support.