Forbidden

 

This is your government/s calling. Not to 

seem impolite but there are certain verities

now to be emphasized in a sudden new world 

we have inherited. Your mucous membranes

are your very own affair. Keep it that way. 

Lubricating emissions from facial orifices 

whether by song or sage advice are no longer 

part and parcel of social fare. The dulcet tones 

of your voice must henceforth be muted -- at 

a distance. Verbal dexterity is admirable and 

texting is its mode of transfer. Do not abridge 

the distances recommended. Do not have the 

temerity to disobey health authorities and 

municipal bylaws for the penalties will be 

swift and painful. You may remain in the 

comfort of your home surrounded -- or not 

-- by meaningful others. You may not exit 

that domicile other than for vital affairs which 

must be brief and necessary. Furthermore 

we regret to inform you that access to various 

venues are off limits for ... the duration. Gyms

public parks, pubs and restaurants, hairdressers

golf, sport arenas, concert halls, museums, art

galleries, libraries, colleges and schools. There

are rules to be followed. You are not to gather

but you may contact us when you see others

that do. You must not: have a heart attack

contract cancer, be seized with a stroke, feign

appendicitis -- for our hospitals have geared for a

crisis. On the other  hand you may become

infected with COVID-19 in which case you

will be welcomed at your local hospital

emergency room. Be well, stay safe. Over and

out.Your faithful servants, here to help you.